Feeling Down

I give up. I give up. I can't do it today.

I am made of FAIL. I try my best, I do, but I am so easily overwhelmed. Today I drove dozens of miles with my three boys to buy the baby a Big Boy Bed. Something that we didn't need right away, but that I knew we eventually would need. And also I am forced to cramp myself onto the mattress of his toddler bed every once and awhile, and let me tell you, it's not just small. It's springy and uncomfortable. It was supposed to last for 1 baby, and it's 2.5 years into it's third. And I say it's done.

But at the store the boys went bonkers. I was so focused on trying to get a bed that wasn't too expensive, or ugly, but that was also practical in the space we wanted to use, not to mention the fact that all three boys were climbing all over all beds and at one point JUMPING from ONE to the OTHER, that I completely missed the fact that some mattresses were made of eco-friendly material. By the time I noticed it, I had already paid and arranged for delivery, and I think all the sales people were very happy to see us leaving, so I didn't go back.

I meant to be good. But I wasn't.

Also, I've eaten out something like, 6 times in the past week, I have decided to use chemicals in my yard, and I have driven my car a ridiculous number of miles. I am tired of this being a fight. I just want to give up for awhile, put my name on the "Good Person" document and move on with my life, without worrying that my next cup of overpriced coffee is chemically grown by slave children and served in a plastic cup that will outlive the human race. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?